I worked on a circle journal layout today. I used two different sketches from Triple the Sketch for my pages. The left side was sketch #6 and the right side was sketch #12.
I was to do a 2-page 8.5 x 11" layout about a time when the Lord taught me some lessons. I chose to do a layout on the lessons I learned before we had Kendra. Most of what I learned can be summed up in one word....Submission
The journaling says:
Submission seems to be a dirty word in our day & age. But one of the lessons the Lord taught me was the blessing of being submissive to my husband as well as to Him. I once read that submission is cheerful acceptance. Wow! That’s tough at times.
When our son, Ian, was about a year old (approx. March 1987), I began praying that in His time, if it was His will, could we please have a little girl someday. At that point in time I didn’t feel "ready" for another child but knew that someday I would. As our son approached his 2nd birthday, I was bitten by the "baby bug." My husband, Tim, however, was not bitten by the same bug. While he certainly knew how I felt, I did my best not to nag about my desire for a baby. The months passed & Tim didn’t seem any closer to agreeing to have another baby.
Finally, I prayed, "Lord, Tim is the head of our home. I need to submit to his leadership in this area. Help me to have a cheerful acceptance of his decision in this even if it means we never have anymore children." When I was able to pray this prayer, & sincerely mean it, I felt a peace I’d been missing.
Several months later, my husband told me that we could begin trying for a baby.
Months passed & I didn’t get pregnant. This was an unexpected difficulty for me, because we’d had no problems getting pregnant with our son. In fact, I’d gotten pregnant with him when we weren’t even "trying" for a baby. I’d also thought that since I’d (finally) been submissive to my husband pregnancy would quickly follow. I went to the doctor for fertility counseling but my husband & I agreed that there would be no drugs that would"get our picture on the cover of Time Magazine" as my husband put it. I truly learned that it is the Lord that opens & closes the womb.
Once again, the Lord had to bring me to the place where I could honestly pray, "Lord, You are in charge & You know what is best for us. If You don’t want us to have another baby, I accept Your will in this." The Lord graciously answered my prayers for another child with a "Yes" & Kendra was born May 1, 1990.
I learned a lot about submission. Not that submitting is a magic formula for getting what you want because we all know it isn’t. There have been many times where I’ve been submissive & things haven’t gone the way I thought they should. More times than not, later on, I saw where what I’d wanted would not have been a good thing. What I did learn is that submission brings joy, peace, marital harmony, & a knowledge that I’m doing what’s right. I am so glad that the Lord didn’t put me as the head of our home. That’s a responsibility I do NOT want. Even when it’s hard, being submissive, whether to Tim or to the Lord Himself, is always the best. God’s way truly IS the best way & you’ll never be sorry for putting the Lord first.